Friday Feast #152

Here's how it works:

Each Friday when you visit this meme, you will find 5 enticing courses for your mind to gobble up:

Appetizer - a quick, tasty morsel to get you started

Soup - smooth and warm to soothe your mind

Salad - a nutritious blend of "veggies"

Main Course - a hearty portion that is sure to satisfy

Dessert - light concoction for your sweet tooth


And now for this week's fare:
Appetizer: On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being highest) how much do enjoy watching sports on television?

That's a tough one. No, really, it is. I'm trying to think, right now, of which sports you can actually participate in ON a television. Then again, according to ESPN, damn near anything is a sport (POKER?), so I guess things like placing a lamp on the television could actually be considered a sport. Therefore, I guess I'm going to have to go with "1" because I'm not really all that thrilled by watching people place lamps on televisions. What a strange question.
Soup: If you could completely memorize any one work of fiction, which one would you pick?

There's only one possible answer to this question. WHY?!? Good Lord, with all the things I keep forgetting, there's no way I'd use up valuable brain space with a work of fiction! There's already too much useless crap I can remember in there now (like Don Mattingly's lifetime Batting Average of .307)!
Salad: What is your favorite breakfast food?

None of the above. Really. I don't eat breakfast much. Actually, most days I snack all day and just eat supper. Don't worry, it's mostly nutritional stuff (and only a few cookies and beers a day). Then again, it's not really that I don't like breakfast, but there's no time. When I leave the house by about 4:45am each day, there's only so early you can wake up in the morning.
Main Course: Name something fun you can do for less than $10.00.

How long is this answer supposed to be? I can think of dozens, no, hundreds of things that are fun to do that cost less than $10. And you there, with the dirty mind, I wasn't thinking of that type of thing. Actually, I've always been relatively creative, so my mind is continuously already thinking of things to be doing (usually other than what I'm supposed to be doing at the moment). I guess if I had to try and sum up one answer for this one, I'd say: CREATE.
Dessert: How long does it usually take you to fall asleep?

Okay, I've been working on this one, but I don't quite have the answer yet. I keep starting the stopwatch when I lie down, and I promise myself that as soon as I fall asleep, I'll reach over and turn it off...

Friday Feast #149

Here's how it works:

Each Friday when you visit this meme, you will find 5 enticing courses for your mind to gobble up:

Appetizer
- a quick, tasty morsel to get you started

Soup
- smooth and warm to soothe your mind

Salad
- a nutritious blend of "veggies"

Main Course
- a hearty portion that is sure to satisfy

Dessert
- light concoction for your sweet tooth


And now for this week's fare:
Appetizer: Name a funny habit you have.

I think the red and white polka dot one is pretty funny. Don't worry, I only wear it at Halloween.
Soup: If you could instantly know how to play a musical instrument, which one would you pick?

Hmmm...I already know how to play the beans-related one... how about the hambone? Is that a musical instrument?

Hambone, Hambone
where you been?
"Round the corner
And back agin"
Hambone Hambone,
where's your wife?
"In the kitchen cookin rice!"

Salad: How long is your hair?
Which one?
Main Course: When was the last time you forgave someone, and who was it?
I'm forgiving you, my kind reader, right now -- for not laughing at my current attempt at making a joke!
Dessert: What is your favorite kitchen appliance?
The BBQ grill. What?

If you want to play, you can post these on your blog, or even answer in the comments here. And be sure to stop by next week for more witty answers to silly questions...

Friday Feast #148

Here's how it works:

Each Friday when you visit this meme, you will find 5 enticing courses for your mind to gobble up:

Appetizer
- a quick, tasty morsel to get you started

Soup
- smooth and warm to soothe your mind

Salad
- a nutritious blend of "veggies"

Main Course
- a hearty portion that is sure to satisfy

Dessert
- light concoction for your sweet tooth


And now for this week's fare:
Appetizer: Fill in the blank: The best thing about where I live is _________________

Whoa. That's just the appetizer? This is going to be a tough one this week, isn't it? I guess I would have to say that the best thing is that I don't get arrested (yet) for openly worshiping God. I know there's bills in Congress to change that, but I'm slightly free for the moment. And that's pretty cool.
Soup: Create a new name for a deodorant (like Flower Fresh or Shower Scent).

"Man Smell." What? I believe in truth in advertising. I suppose another good one might be "Beer Breath." "

No officer, I haven't been drinking, that's my deodorant."

Salad: What was the last piece of software you installed onto your computer?

Geez, with all the spyware and crap out there, I have no idea what's been installed recently. As for me intentionally installing...I guess Open Office was the last one. If you've never seen it, check that out -- it does everything Microsoft Office does and more for a lot less: $0 to be exact.
Main Course: If you were to receive a superlative award today beginning with the words Most likely to, what would the rest of the phrase say?

I tend to think logically on most things. The only logical answer to this question is "Most likely to receive a superlative award." How could it be otherwise? Then again, how would someone know they were most likely to receive the award before they actually received it?
Dessert: What two colors do you like to wear together?

Stripes and silver. Silver is too a color!

Well, that's all! Come back next week for more, or play along yourself on your blog -- or heck, you can put your answers in the comments here if you'd like!

Friday Feast #147

Here's how it works:

Each Friday when you visit this meme, you will find 5 enticing courses for your mind to gobble up:

Appetizer
- a quick, tasty morsel to get you started

Soup
- smooth and warm to soothe your mind

Salad
- a nutritious blend of "veggies"

Main Course
- a hearty portion that is sure to satisfy

Dessert
- light concoction for your sweet tooth


And now for this week's fare:
Appetizer: What do you consider to be the ultimate snack food?

Is beer considered a food?
Soup: On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 as highest), about how popular is your last name?

Well, I'd have to say it's a 10 with me...But according to the socialist security officials (so not counting illegal Mexican invaders, yet) -- it's a bit over 8000th. I don't think their scale goes from 1 to 10.
Salad: Who is your all-time favorite sitcom character, and why?

Archie Bunker:
Meathead: "Do you realize guns are the cause of over 60 percents of deaths in America?
Archie: Would it make you feel better if they was all pushed out of windows?
Main Course: Do you shop online? If so, name some sites you like to browse for goodies.

Browse? Shop? Do I LOOK like a girl? ;)
Dessert: Fill in the blank: I think ___________ should be ___________.

Didn't you try and trick me last week with this one? I call fowl. I'm not answering -- because I think people who write these memes should be not allowed to use the same question twice. Doh!

Thinking Blogger Tag

Good K.T. Cat has decided to attempt to tag me with another meme. This one is the "Thinking Blogger Meme."

I guess I could give KT a hard time for not reading my blog each and every day, but KT freely admits that mine is not a daily stop. And, well, with the schedule I've been working, I haven't been visiting much of anybody's blog the last month or two (very sorry, people).

But if KT had been reading religiously, my initial Thinking Blogger tag was received way back in March! But thanks for the tag, KT, I am honored that I make you think.

Friday Feast #146

Here's how it works:

Each Friday when you visit this meme, you will find 5 enticing courses for your mind to gobble up:

Appetizer
- a quick, tasty morsel to get you started

Soup
- smooth and warm to soothe your mind

Salad
- a nutritious blend of "veggies"

Main Course
- a hearty portion that is sure to satisfy

Dessert
- light concoction for your sweet tooth


And now for this week's fare:
Appetizer: Name something you think is the best.

America's Democrats tell me that Socialism is "the best" -- much better than freedom. However, I disagree. I think that freedom is "the best."
Soup: On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 highest), how stressed are you today?

Zero. Really. Whatever it is, it's really not that important. And I know that man is not in control, anyway. If you're stressed, relax -- I know how the story ends, and it's a good ending. Good WILL overcome evil in the end -- despite man's best efforts to the contrary.
Salad: What kind of cleanser do you use to wash your face?

What is this thing you call "cleanser?" Did you miss the picture up there at the top? Hello, I'm an OGRE!
Main Course: Tonight is a blue moon! What is something that you believe only happens once in a blue moon.

Oh, that's too easy. Should I take the easy one? Why not? Something that only happens once in a blue moon is... that the moon turns blue. Oh come on, you HAD to see that one coming!
Dessert: When was the last time it rained where you live?

mmmMMMmm...dessert. I like desserts in the desert... like where I am now! I think it's been at least two or three weeks since we've seen ANY rain here at all. Yes, it is pretty much the end of the world. Global warming, drought conditions, etc. Much stuff is dying. Water limitations are just around the corner...well, for people, not for the cities or for any businesses, just for the average Joe who actually PAYS for their water...

Movie Meme

VW thought for some reason it would be fun to tag me with another silly meme. I don't know why she thought that it would be fun. As usual, this one comes with ZERO instructions. Therefore I can do anything I want and comply with the "rules" of the meme. So here goes:

What? You thought I'd do something? :)

Okay, I'll play along, just this once... (and in case you don't know how this one works, this is a list of keywords of movies from IMDB. You have to try and guess which movie each one describes. I don't watch many movies, but these are a few I like. Some will be quite easy to guess...)

1. Gunshot / Creek / Graft / Ethics / American
(Should be simple. I bet Harvey gets it right away)

2. Anachronistic / British Film / Severed Arm / Eccentric / British
(yeah, that one is too easy)

3. Eaten Alive / Pug Dog / Alien Baby / Suicide / New York City
(that's not even a challenge, is it?)

4. Cellular Phone / E Mail / Fight On Train Roof / Sequel To TV Series / Berlin Germany
(These are way too easy.)

5. Steampunk / No Opening Credits / 18th Century / British Empire / Pirates
(Is there even a point to me continuing?)

6. Shot In The Head / Good Versus Evil / Car Accident / Indiana Jones / U Boat
(oh, there's a toughie)

7. Male Nudity / Period Drama / Dance Hall / Boarding House / Oklahoma
(That first keyword is SO wrong.)

8. Eighteenth Century / Fireplace / Catholic Priest / Vienna Austria / Talent
(Hey look, one that might take at least 2 guesses to figure out)

9. Good Versus Evil / Desert / Death Of Loved One / Cult / Bow And Arrow
(I guess that could take 2 guesses)

10. Motivation / Kiss / Eggs / Inspiration / Competition
(I have no idea what those words have to do with this movie).

Now I just have to remember which movies I just searched for when you guess...

Friday Feast #145

Here's how it works:

Each Friday when you visit this meme, you will find 5 enticing courses for your mind to gobble up:

Appetizer
- a quick, tasty morsel to get you started

Soup
- smooth and warm to soothe your mind

Salad
- a nutritious blend of "veggies"

Main Course
- a hearty portion that is sure to satisfy

Dessert
- light concoction for your sweet tooth


And now for this week's fare:
Appetizer: Name a sound you like to hear.

Silence. What? That's a sound. Sort of...
Soup: What is your favorite kind of cheese?

The kind that's thrown into the trash so I don't have to eat it.
Salad: Do you sleep late on Saturday mornings? Why or why not?

Yes, until at least 6:00. Why? Because I can.
Main Course: When was the last time you forgot something? What was it, and how long did it take to remember it?

What? What is this question about? Are you insinuating something? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, squire!
Dessert: Fill in the blank: I notice ____________ when _____________.

Oh, that's a tricky one. I bet you think you caught me. But no, I was paying attention. I see that it said "blank" singular and that there's two blanks! So I know that I have to fill in both blanks with the same word to actually complete this one. But what one word can be used to fill both those blanks? I'm going to go with "galavanting."

Friday Feast #144

Here's how it works:

Each Friday when you visit this meme, you will find 5 enticing courses for your mind to gobble up:

Appetizer
- a quick, tasty morsel to get you started

Soup
- smooth and warm to soothe your mind

Salad
- a nutritious blend of "veggies"

Main Course
- a hearty portion that is sure to satisfy

Dessert
- light concoction for your sweet tooth


And now for this week's fare:
Appetizer: List 3 emotions you experienced this week.

Emotions? What are these things called emotions?
Soup: Name a car youd love to have.

The one I have now.
Salad: Describe your typical morning routine.

I get up. (Other people do something different?)
Main Course: Have you ever emailed someone famous? If so, who, and what did you say to them? Did they reply?

I don't know anyone famous. And if I did, they wouldn't know me.
Dessert: Do you listen to podcasts? If so, which ones?

Nah. What's the point?

Friday Feast #143

Here's how it works:

Each Friday when you visit this meme, you will find 5 enticing courses for your mind to gobble up:

Appetizer
- a quick, tasty morsel to get you started

Soup
- smooth and warm to soothe your mind

Salad
- a nutritious blend of "veggies"

Main Course
- a hearty portion that is sure to satisfy

Dessert
- light concoction for your sweet tooth


And now for this week's fare:
Appetizer: Tell about a time when you had to be brave.

One time, when I was about 8 years old or so, we went to an Indian Reservation show. They dressed up all us kids as indians, even though I wanted to be a cowboy, and I'm pretty sure that since I got the rubber axe, that I was a brave and not a squaw.
Soup: Which upcoming movie are you excited about seeing?

The one starring me as king of the world. There's lots of bombs in it.
Salad: Name an item you try to always have on hand.

Nothing. I mean, if I ALWAYS had something on my hand, how would I be able to do stuff? Heck, unless it was something really small, you couldn't even walk without dropping it. Silly question.
Main Course: Imagine the most relaxing room you can think of. Now describe it!

Be back later to answer this one -- I'm busy relaxing in my mind right now...
Dessert: On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being highest), how spiritual or religious are you?

202 pounds. I've never seen a scale that only goes to 10. Most of them go at least to 300, and many these days go over 300. I think a scale that only goes to 10 would tend to break a lot.

Friday Feast #142

Here's how it works:

Each Friday when you visit this meme, you will find 5 enticing courses for your mind to gobble up:

Appetizer
- a quick, tasty morsel to get you started

Soup
- smooth and warm to soothe your mind

Salad
- a nutritious blend of "veggies"

Main Course
- a hearty portion that is sure to satisfy

Dessert
- light concoction for your sweet tooth


And now for this week's fare:
Appetizer: Name something you would not want to own.

Phil.
Soup: Describe your hair (texture, color, length, etc.).

That's a rather personal question, isn't it? And racist and intolerant, too -- what if I'm bald? Wouldn't that be offensive? Do I get to riot, burn things, and stone people now because I'm offended? Can I sue someone? Do I get a radio show?
Salad: Finish this sentence: Ill never forget ___________.

And I bet you won't, either.
Main Course: Which famous person would you like to be for one day? Why?

Wouldn't that be rather mean? I mean what would happen to that person? Would they be me? What if they messed things up for me? What if they killed themselves because they weren't famous any more and that act killed me? Would I get to stay being them? What if I was the one who killed me while I wasn't me? Would the new me get to be both of me? Or would a tear appear in the fabric of time and space and suck the two mes into it? I think it's much safer to just be me.
Dessert: Write one sentence about yourself that includes one thing that is true and another thing that is not.

I think, therefore, I am.

Go ahead, ponder that one for awhile.

First Vinyl Meme

SpiritsHavingFlown.jpgIt seems that I've been tagged by Big White Hat with a silly meme. I think this one really is going to show my age because it asks which record we first spent money on.

Well, here it is, The Bee Gees "Spirits Having Flown." I bought it because of the song "Tragedy:"

Here I lie
in a lost and lonely part of town
Held in time
In a world of tears I slowly drown
Goin'home
I just can't make it all alone
I really should be holding you
Holding you
Loving you loving you

Tragedy
When the feeling's gone and you can't go on
It's tragedy
When the morning cries and you don't know why
It's hard to bear
With no-one to love you you're
goin' nowhere
Tragedy
When you lose control and you got no soul
It's tragedy
When the morning cries and you don't know why
It's hard to bear
With no-one beside you you're
goin' nowhere
When the feeling's gone and you can't go on

Night and day
there's a burning down inside of me
Burning love
With a yearning that won't let me be
Down I go
and I just can't take it all alone
I really should be holding you
Holding you
Loving you loving

Tragedy
When the feeling's gone and you can't go on
It's tragedy
When the morning cries and you don't know why
It's hard to bear
With no-one to love you you're
goin' nowhere
Tragedy
When you lose control and you got no soul
It's tragedy
When the morning cries and you don't know why
It's hard to bear
With no-one beside you you're
goin' nowhere


Mostly I just remember it was something I had saved up for a long time. My brother and father both had a whole bunch of records and I was only allowed to borrow them once in awhile. But this one was mine and I had earned the money (from delivering newspapers) to buy it myself. And yes, I do still own this record -- but every other record I own fits better into the "rock" category...

Friday Feast #140

Here's how it works:

Each Friday when you visit this meme, you will find 5 enticing courses for your mind to gobble up:

Appetizer
- a quick, tasty morsel to get you started

Soup
- smooth and warm to soothe your mind

Salad
- a nutritious blend of "veggies"

Main Course
- a hearty portion that is sure to satisfy

Dessert
- light concoction for your sweet tooth


And now for this week's fare:
Appetizer: What is your favorite kind of bread?

Oh, we're starting out with the tough ones this week, are we? Well, okay. I really like Grant's design. Of course, the Jackson is always nice to have -- and the Ben Franklin's are nice to have as well. But I sure wouldn't mind a Salmon P. Chase, either... mmmMMMmmm...bread...
Soup: When was the last time you bought a new pillow?

What is this thing you call "pill-oh?" Do you mean those things that artificially bend your neck into a weird, abnormal angle so that when you sleep you wake up with back and neck pain? Yeah, I don't have any use for those silly things.
Salad: Approximately how many hours per week do you spend surfing the net?

What? These questions get stranger and stranger every week. "Surfing" is a water sport where people ride on boards on top of the water. The Net is "a term in alchemy for a copper-antimony alloy." So, to "surf" this sort of substance, let's see... the melting point of copper is 1984.32 F, while the melting point of antimony is 1167.13 F. So in order to get an alloy that consists of the two of them to melt enough to surf on it, you're going to need temperatures around 2000 F. Someone want to tell me what the board's going to have to be made of to ensure it doesn't ignite?
Main Course: Whats the highest you remember your temperature being?

I don't pay attention. And I'm betting no one else can really answer this one, either. You see, one of the signs of a high fever is delirium. The higher the temperature, the more wacked-out your brain gets. So even if people did tell me, I wouldn't know, much less remember. And I really don't care. If the doctor takes my temperature and tells me what it is, it doesn't matter -- I just listen to the part about what to DO about it...
Dessert: Fill in the blanks: When I ____________, I _____________.

Oh yeah, I'm pretty sure I shouldn't answer this one...

Friday Feast #139

Here's how it works:

Each Friday when you visit this meme, you will find 5 enticing courses for your mind to gobble up:

Appetizer
- a quick, tasty morsel to get you started

Soup
- smooth and warm to soothe your mind

Salad
- a nutritious blend of "veggies"

Main Course
- a hearty portion that is sure to satisfy

Dessert
- light concoction for your sweet tooth


And now for this week's fare:
Appetizer: When you were a child, which crayon color was your favorite?

Now that's a tough one. I think I'd have to go with whichever one fit up my nose the easiest. Either that or
flugreenbanner.jpg

Soup: On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being highest), how likely would you be to change jobs if it required you to move?

Waaaaaay too many factors would go into that sort of decision, as some people know all too well. I guess the question would be more direct if it put some more requirements on it, like, say, "If you were offered a $250,000 salary, would you move to San Francisco?"
Salad: Take all the numbers in your birthday and your phone number and add them up, one by one. Whats the total?

If I took all the numbers in my birthday, then when would I be born? What would happen to my driver's license? In fact, my license (NC -- come here, you can get one if you want one, no requirements) is plastic. How is it that I'm supposed to "take" those numbers from there. And if the question is assuming that I'm not supposed to "take" the numbers, but instead and supposed to add them up, which ones should I use? Am I supposed to add up all the numbers of my birthday for every single year that I've had a birthday? Or am I supposed to only use the numbers from my birth year's birthday and everywhere they've ever been written down? And if I use my phone number (again, assuming it didn't really mean "take"); what kind of silly number am I going to get by adding a 9- (or is it 10-?) digit number to my birthdate? AND WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?

Some of these questions are just plain too hard for a Friday.

Main Course: Have you ever re-gifted anything? If so, what was it and who did you pass it on to?

Gift: donation, contribution, offering, benefaction, endowment, bounty, boon, largess, alms, gratuity, tip, premium, allowance, subsidy, bequest, legacy, inheritance, dowry; NOUN.

re-: a prefix, occurring originally in loanwords from Latin, used with the meaning again or again and again to indicate repetition.

Huh? How do you "again and again" a noun? Sure, I can present a gift. So then to add "re-" to that meaning, I would have to keep presenting the gifts again and again. So taken one way, there's no way I could have done that because if I had, it would be a perpetual motion and I'd still be doing it now! Or perhaps it means presenting that same gift again and again -- if that's the case, I'd have to be a thief because in order to present the same gift to the same person I'd first have to steal it from them, wouldn't I? And don't you think they'd notice either me stealing it, or me giving them the same thing I had already given them -- again and again? Sheesh.

Dessert: Name something you need from the store.

Beer.

For Dessert.

Hey, an easy one!

Thinking Blogger Tag

Well, if you haven't seen it by now, there's a viral award making the rounds called the "thinking blogger award." It's sort of a mixed bag. It's an award, but it's a virus. So while at the same time, I really am honored that now at least two different people (Kender and Raven) picked me; I still feel like I've been backslapped with a slimy rubbery hand slathered with moldy crud.

Now this meme comes with specific rules:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote.

Well, I did get tagged, so I suppose I'm going to link to 5 blogs. Here goes nothing:

*** WARNING WARNING WARNING *** Do NOT hold Ogre responsible for loss of brain cells if you follow the links provided. They are not there for you to follow, they are there because the rules require them. In some cases, your intelligence WILL decrease should you follow the links. You have been warned.

#1. Thinking Meat. I know, you're screaming, "WHAT?!?" Look, the rules said that I was supposed to link to bloggers that make me think. And when I read Thinking Meat, I do think -- usually the thoughts are, "How can such a person actually form words when they cannot have more than 2 brain cells?" Seriously. The author of this site can read minds (in his own mind) and lives in a world that is not just disconnected from reality, but would never recognize reality, ever. I honestly do not know how a person with this sort of mindset can function at all in society. I'm guessing it's a government worker.

#2. Blue NC. My motto for this one is "Know Thy Enemy." As for thoughts, this site makes me think, "Holy crap, this IS what the Democrats in NC honestly believe." And that's really, really BAD for freedom. The opinions on this site show why freedom will continue to be oppressed in North Carolina.

#3. Gun-Toting Liberal. This site is interesting because it's another group site with more than one author. Every time I read this site, it makes me think, "Geez, GTL, how can you be so right in some areas, but so far off the reservation in others?" This is one of the few liberals I know (well, I'd like to know -- we're going to sit down and have a beer one day) that is capable of understanding logic and can honestly argue (even if he is wrong quite a bit...)

#4. The Evangelical Outpost. Most of the posts there are very thoughtful and get me to thinking -- however, usually at the bottom of the post will be comments that will immediately derail the thinking process as my mind is invaded with thoughts like, "Why do people need to just attempt to be evil?" and "Again, it's amazing how little brain power it takes to type words on a keyboard."

#5 Drunken Wisdom. This one pretty much is limited to one thought, "I wonder how many beers T1G had before he made this post?" I'm pretty sure the answer is almost "more than 5."

Friday Feast

You know, I picked this meme up from Raven, and she's not been playing. Well, she's finally back and has joined in once again. So I guess I better not stop now!

Here's how it works:

Each Friday when you visit this meme, you will find 5 enticing courses for your mind to gobble up:

Appetizer
- a quick, tasty morsel to get you started

Soup
- smooth and warm to soothe your mind

Salad
- a nutritious blend of "veggies"

Main Course
- a hearty portion that is sure to satisfy

Dessert
- light concoction for your sweet tooth


And now for this week's fare:
Appetizer: Who is your favorite news anchor/reporter? Why?

What century do you live in? News reporters? They don't exist any more. The folks that come on TV at 6:00 (and 5:30 and 5:00 and 6:30 and 11:00) are entertainers and nothing more. Sometimes they're political activists that will attempt to sway your vote, but usually they're just there for entertainment value. News reporters? That is so 20th century.
Soup: Name 3 foods that are currently in your freezer.

1. Ice. That's a food, right?
2. Frost. Not really ice. You know, the stuff that when you brush up against it, it sort of falls apart and leaves traces all over the place? You could eat it.
3. Something green and icy. I'm not really interested in finding out what it actually might be right now.
Salad: If you were to have the opportunity to name a new town or city, what would you call it?

"Cesspool on the Potomac." "Armpit of the Nation." "Corruption Central."

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought the question asked about RE-naming a town or city. I guess it's too unimaginative to name it Ogreville. Maybe I'd just name it "city" to confuse people:

"Want to go to the City?"
"Which one"
"City"
"The name of it"
"City"
"What's the city called?"
"City..."

Main Course: What will most likely be the next book you read?

You mean from cover-to-cover? Or scan? Or just read some of it, to save some for later? And who reads a book from cover-to-cover, anyway? Half the books I read these days have some damn "preview" of some other book in the last 1/8 of the book -- so when I'm thinking I've still got lots to read, the story suddenly ends and I'm left holding 50 or 60 pages of a book I didn't want and wondering where the rest of MY story went. I hate when that happens. Why don't they just put the previews in a book all by themselves? I feel ripped off when I buy a book that's 600 pages long and the last 70 pages are some other book that I didn't want. If I pay for 600 pages of story, I want 600 pages of story, dammit.

What was the question again?

Dessert: What's the first thing you notice about the opposite gender?

mmMMmmm...Dessert...

Opposite gender. Hmm... Hey! Did you know that the Friday Feast is put on by someone named "Susan?" Is this a research question, dear Susan? Are you trying to put the moves on Ogre? Are you trying to decide what you need to do to get my attention? I smell setup... ;)

Friday Feast

Well, I'm not completely sure what this is, but I found it over at Raven's, so I thought I'd give it a shot. The directions say:

While our questions may sometimes be related to food, the main idea here is to feed your mind by asking thought-provoking, mind-stimulating questions.

Each Friday when you visit this meme, you will find 5 enticing courses for your mind to gobble up:

Appetizer
- a quick, tasty morsel to get you started

Soup
- smooth and warm to soothe your mind

Salad
- a nutritious blend of "veggies"

Main Course
- a hearty portion that is sure to satisfy

Dessert
- light concoction for your sweet tooth


Okay, so here goes nothing:

Appetizer
Which television shows do you just refuse to miss?

Television? Isn't that a medium that was used for communication back in the 20th century? Do people still have those things? What for? Oh, wait, I remember that thing now -- it's the propaganda tool used by leftists world wide today, isn't it?

Soup
Who did you last speak to on the telephone?

Tell-uh-what? Horrible, nasty devices. I don't like them one bit. Therefore, I don't use them. Why? I dunno. But really, I just don't use those things.

Salad
How many pillows do you keep on your bed?

What is this, a quiz about little-known things that people don't have? Why spend money on a bed when there's a perfectly good floor right over there? Heck, if you have a bed, doesn't it just cover up the floor space so you can't use it any more? And if you do get rid of that floor space, why would you bother with a pillow? That's just not natural. Really. Go lie down. Now, how elevated is your head? Oh, it's not? Then why would you want to sleep with your chin pressed towards your neck? You people are silly.

Main Course
Name one addition to your computer (software, hardware, etc.) that you'd love to have.

Okay, at least I understand this question! I need the brain-to-text translator. That way I could get a lot more done by just telling the machine exactly what I wanted it to do, without having to figure out how to explain it to the computer.

Dessert
What is your favorite foreign food?

Roast Terrorist.

Book Meme?

I sense a bit of laziness in the memes making the rounds these days. In this case, someone has apparently tried to "tag" me with a meme, but she didn't even officially "tag" me -- she just sent it along. And as for directions, there simply are NONE! How am I supposed to misinterpret the directions if there's no directions for me to follow? Sigh.

Anyway, the questions that have been "sent" to me are all about books. I'm not sure what I'm actually supposed to DO with the questions. In fact, looking back at the post, there aren't even any QUESTIONS. Instead, there are just sentence fragments. How can you answer a sentence fragment? If I asked you, "So, yellow dumptrucks." Would you even bother to answer? Would you know it was a question? Heck, there's not even ONE question mark in that entire post!

Therefore, I shall do this meme, without directions. I shall simply answer every single question that was asked. Here you go:


Phew. Glad that's over.

The Fours Plops.

That 1 Guy can really be annoying...but I bet you already knew that. It seems he's attempted to tag me with the "fours" meme that's going around.

Actually, this is a pretty weak tag, since the darn thing comes with NO instructions at all. In a way, that makes things much more difficult, because it's hard to follow the rules when there are none. Even consulting the official rules doesn't seem to help...so, I guess I'll have to make up my own rules for the "fours" meme:

Rules for the "Fours" meme:
Rule 1: No Poofters!
Rule 2: No member of the faculty is to maltreat the Abbos in any way at all -- if there's anybody watching.

Oh wait, that's a different set of rules. Let me try that again...

Rules for the "Fours" meme:
Rule 1: No Poofters! (Sometimes a rule just works).
Rule 2: List 4 things about 4 things about stuff. Use the ones you were tagged with, or just make some crap up or something.
Rule 3: There is no rule 3.
Rule 4: There are to be no more than 4 of anything, including rules, in the fours meme.

There. Now that the rules are settled, we can get on with the actual meme answering part (and there was much rejoicing).

Ok, the actual answering part of the meme is coming up now. It's going to be right after this next section here. Here it comes...any minute now... the meme answers are just about here...

Välkomna till ogre'sens svar till foursmemen.

Här skar han svar som all ifrågasätter poserat av den 1 grabb med hans meme märker.

Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yer?

See the løveli lakes

The wonderful telephøne system

And mani interesting furry animals

Including the majestic møøse

A Møøse once bit my sister ...

We apologise for the fault in the meme answer. Those responsible have been sacked. We shall now continue with the meme answer, resuming where it was interrupted.

No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink".

We apologise again for the fault in the meme answer. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked. We once again resume the meme answering process, still in progress.

Møøse trained by: TUTTE HERMSGERVORDENBROTBORDA
Special Møøse Effects: OLAF PROT
Møøse Costumes: SIGGI CHURCHILL
Møøse Choreographed by: HORST PROT III
Miss Taylor's Møøses by: HENGST DOUGLAS-HOME
Møøse trained to mix concrete and sign complicated insurance forms by : JURGEN WIGG
Møøses' noses wiped by: BJORN IRKESTOM-SLATER WALKER

The directors of the firm hired to continue the meme after the other people had been sacked, wish it to be known that they have just been sacked.

The meme will now continue in an entirely different style, created at great expense and at the last minute, picking up where the meme left off.

...


...


...


What?

Oh.

We're sorry, the meme answers apparently ended just before the sacking of the last previous directors. So I guess that's all. We hope you enjoyed this meme.

Alleged meme Tag

Contagion seems to have attempted to tag me with a meme.

However, according to the absolutely official meme rules, it is simply not permitted to tag people when they're not home. Therefore, Contagion's tag is hereby officially certified as null and void. Sorry Contagion, better luck next time. :)

Alarm Clock Meme

Ok, VW Bug seems to think that she can just tag me with a meme and it will turn out how she likes. Boy is she wrong! Here's the rules, as she's supplied them to me:

First: (This has been redone for Ogre's sake). Copy and paste questions #1 thru #4 to a post on your site. Answer the questions to the best of your ability. Then copy #5 and include the link.

Second: Link to my site (because it’s polite to link to the site that tagged you).

Third: Go and tag up to five other blogs, or more if ya like.

Fourth: Email the owner of, or post on the blogs that you have tagged, to inform them that you’ve tagged them.


Ok, step 1 is to copy and paste questions #1 through #4 to a post on your site. Here you go:

1. Do you use time for an alarm clock up to in the morning?

2. What do many how wake set it times?

3. Do have a snooze button? If so ever clocked an alarm?

4. you you you hit the bus?

Then I am to answer the questions to the best of my ability. Very well.

1. No, time uses me for various nefarious purposes. One day I may learn to control it so I can take over the world.

2. Banana cake mambo dump truck taxi driver.

3. No, I have arms and legs and teeth, no buttons, at least as long as I stay away from those government-run black helicopters. Since I don't have a button, I am not obligated to provide information about me clocking or not clocking any alarms.

4. I did not.

Second, I already provided a link back to VW, and here's a link back to the evil person who started this.

Third, ooo, look! Something shiny!

"Mega-Meme"

Smokey tagged me with another silly meme. It's a rather long meme answer, so I'll post my "results" in the extended entry.

I'll tag Mensa Barbie, Bou, and Gun-toting Liberal.

===============================

Overview: This post is a community experiment with two broad purposes. The first is to create publicly accessible data about bloggers’ personalities, which may have sociological value in addition to being just plain fun. The second is to track the propagation of this meme through blogspace. Full details and explanation can be found on the original posting: http://pixnaps.blogspot.com/2005/06/meme-worth-spreading.html

Instructions (to join in the experiment):

1) Take the IPIP-NEO personality test and the Political Compass quiz, if you have not done so already.

2) Copy to the clipboard that section of this post that is between the double lines, and paste it into your blog editor. (Blogger users may wish to use ‘compose’ mode to preserve formatting and hyperlinks. Otherwise, be sure to add hyperlinks as necessary.)

3) Replace the answers in the “survey” section below with your own.

4) Add your blog information to the “track list”, in the format: “Linked title - URL - optional GUID“.

5) Any additional comments should go outside of the double lines, including the (optional) nomination of bloggers you wish to pass this experimental meme on to.

6) Post it to your blog!

Survey:

Age: ??
Gender: Male
Location: A Cave
Religion: Christian
Occupation: Eating Things
Began blogging (dd/mm/yy): I forget

Political Compass results

Left/Right: 7.1
Libertarian/Authoritarian: 2.3

IPIP-NEO results

EXTRAVERSION: 52
Friendliness 7
Gregariousness 1
Assertiveness 94
Activity Level 88
Excitement-Seeking 56
Cheerfulness 84

Your score on Extraversion is average, indicating you are neither a subdued loner nor a jovial chatterbox. You enjoy time with others but also time alone.

AGREEABLENESS: 35
Trust 51
Morality 89
Altruism 33
Co-operation 54
Modesty 18
Sympathy 6

Your level of Agreeableness is average, indicating some concern with others' Needs, but, generally, unwillingness to sacrifice yourself for others.

CONSCIENTIOUSNESS: 87
Self-Efficacy 90
Orderliness 96
Dutifulness 95
Achievement-Striving 91
Self-Discipline 68
Cautiousness 87

Your score on Conscientiousness is high. This means you set clear goals and pursue them with determination. People regard you as reliable and hard-working.

NEUROTICISM: 2
Anxiety 0
Anger 1
Depression 4
Self-Consciousness 30
Immoderation 48
Vulnerability 6

Your score on Neuroticism is low, indicating that you are exceptionally calm, composed and unflappable. You do not react with intense emotions, even to situations that most people would describe as stressful.

OPENNESS TO EXPERIENCE: 6
Imagination 89
Artistic Interests 3
Emotionality 1
Adventurousness 28
Intellect 79
Liberalism 0

Your score on Openness to Experience is low, indicating you like to think in plain and simple terms. Others describe you as down-to-earth, practical, and conservative.

Track List:

1. Philosophy, et cetera - pixnaps.blogspot.com - pixnaps97a2
2. Majikthise - 6ea37d10-e9b9-11d9-8cd6-0800200c9a66
3. Ezra Klein - http://ezraklein.typepad.com
4. Rox Populi - http://roxanne.typepad.com
5. Verbatim - http://verbatim.blogs.com
6. Black Currant Jam - http://blackcurrantjam.blogspot.com/ - black7currant7jam5
7. TypeBlogs - http://typeblogs.com (offshoot of marlaswoffer.com)
8. Ramble Strip - http://www.ramblestrip.com/blog/ - kal97ramblestrip
9. basil’s blog - http://www.basilsblog.net/ - basilandhisblog
10. My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy - http://bamapachyderm.com/ - ctide12x1
11. Smoke Signals Blog - http://patriotism101.blogspot.com
12. Ogre's Politics and Views - http://www.ogresview.mu.nu
13. Optional - Your Information Here
===============================

Bedside Table Meme

Ah, carp with a side-order of fries. It seems I've been tagged by Boudicca (a short Celtic woman continually checking her watch outside the restroom) with a silly bedside table meme.

Most of my gentle readers know how I feel about memes. Then again, I am an Ogre, so I pretty much feel the same way about everything else in the world. But I am a truly optimistic Ogre -- no, really! Despite what you might think of what you read here, I almost always see the glass as half full. Anyway, on to the meme:

The first thing you have to do when answering a meme is read the rules in the post in which you were tagged. So, I headed over to post and looked for the rules -- no rules! Yay! One of the first rules of memes is that when no rules are posted, you may follow your own rules!

It would appear that the meme wants to know what's on my "bedside table." What is this "table" thing of which you speak? I looked up bedside in the dictionary, and it said, "The side of a bed." So apparently, some people have tables on the side of their bed. Ok, sounds like fun, I'll give it a shot:

bedtable.jpg

I don't know how you people actually get things to stay on your bedside tables...