Site Meter Ogre's Politics & Views: Blame Bush

Don't we already have enough lunatics presenting theories based on total conjecture already? According to The Alliance, no, we do not. They want even MORE utterly insane, fake reasons why the hurricane is Bush's fault.

Insane Fake Reason #1: Because he didn't meet with stupid Cindy I'm an idiot Sheehan. You see, if President George W. Bush had met with her, there would have been much less dope-smoking and hot air coming out of Crawford, Texas. There was so much hot air there that it actually altered the weather patterns in the southern United States, drawing the hurricane like white on rice.

Insane Fake Reason #2: Because he didn't sign the Kyoto treaty. What do you mean, "That one's already taken?" Who could think up something that insane? Oh, right.

Insane Fake Reason #3: Because Bush won the election of 2000. When the Florida result was questions, tens of thousands of lawyers descended upon the state of Florida. News reporters and "spokesmen" entered the state by the hundreds, creating a huge surplus of CO2.

The extra CO2 created, despite the efforts of Jacksonville to plant trees, increased global warming, immediately setting in motion hurricane Katrina, which then sat off the coast of South America until the time was right, when it then viciously attacked New Orleans.

Insane Fake Reason #4: Because he didn't spend enough money. What? That one is already taken, too? Wow. My imagination's got nothing on the leftists, does it?

Insane Fake Reason #5: Because Bush is a racist. You see, Karl Rove invented a time machine. Bush used it to go back in time and visited Africa during the time of the dinosaurs. Once there, he stepped on a small butterfly, forever altering the wind patterns.

Once the wind patterns were altered, Bush came back to the present to await the results of the ancient wind pattern disturbance. That ancient wind pattern translated into what was to become hurricane Katrina. Bush went back in time once more to South America to set other wind patterns in motion that would ensure that the hurricane would strike where he knew there were a large number of black people. He then returned to the present to await destruction.

Top that one, Ted Kennedy!

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